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Saturday, December 12, 2015

Happy Chanukah folks

Molly, 2015

These past few months have been really hard. I've been trying to write about them, I really have! My journal, which I am normally pretty faithful to, remained empty for nearly two months and the creative writing that I had been agonizing over from my workshops was left untouched in Word doc folders on my computer hard-drive  It's hard to write when you can barely sort through what you are feeling. I'm home for the weekend right now, under less than ideal circumstances, to be with my mother after the death of her mother earlier in the week. I hadn't thought about this blog of mine for a long long time until last night someone akin to a younger sister told me that she had been reading it recently. I was blown away. I sometimes forget that people look at this little piece of the internet. I forget how much this little piece of the internet meant to me for such a long time. I forget that it has the potential to mean something to other people as well. 

Celia is experiencing her first year of high school right now. She's survived and thrived through a full semester of the ninth grade. I've known her shining inquiring soul since it first made its way into this world and hearing her talk about life with basketball practices and secondary school social circles brought me back to my own high school memories, many of which are documented here in this html. The idea of Celia looking at my blog and scrolling through pages of my outfit updates and ramblings--me with my pixie cut and intentionally disjointed color schemed get ups, posts filled with black and white prints from my hours in the darkroom and pictures that I collected from sites across the blogosphere-- made me stop and contemplate the person that I am and the influence that I have on those that I love. 

I suppose that writing this blog was more than just a na├»ve or narcissistic exercise in fashion writing, or whatever I thought it might be. Having this record of my time as a teenager traversing the disappointment of suburbia is quite a gift to give to myself. Thinking back to the person that cut her own hair with rusty scissors filched from the bathroom drawer after the house had gone to sleep, I feel blessed to have grown up in the quietness of suburbia. I have most recently shifted  into what I can only call the fast and loud reality of my present. My present entails lots of happiness and friends and passion and heartache and intensity; the kind of intensity that I must have longed for during high school. 

I'm heading back to school tomorrow. There will be more time for writing and processing and reflecting. There always is. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Late Summer, Early Fall 2014

I'm in college. A lot of time has gone by since I first typed out a few ambivalent lines on this portion of the cyber world. Back then this thing went by a different name; but then, I went by a different name too. We're both different now. Unsurprisingly to everyone but me I have ended up a photography minor, so my love affair with chemical photography is not yet over. For now I give you a few pictures from my phone that sum up the last few weeks, days, and minutes of my life.
It feels quiet and slow in my head in comparison to the past year. I've taken a little time to stare out the window, and stop in the middle of an empty street, and to peer in to my little dog's eyes and convince myself I'm reading his thoughts the way he can read mine. It gives me a little peace, these small indulgences. Change is being commanded on us like a dictatorial force of intangible strength, and the only thing I can come up with to combat it is to fall complacently into the small moments of pause and placid certainty. I feel like I can do that where I am now, for some reason, even if darkness is dropping in corners of my world -that are not so far after all- again.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Winter and Early Spring

I feel really stupid writing things on here these days. No matter what I say it sounds dumb. And I don't want to write just because i feel obligated to, to go along with the pictures, so I'll let the pictures speak for themselves for right now.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Life Lately

It's been half a year of becoming a different person  to write something here again. I've started bringing my camera with me everywhere like I would in high school. It reminds me of the person I used to be. Senior year seems like it was in a different century, part of a different life. I've only just begun to talk about the person that I used to be with the new friends I've made. My roommate found a picture from high school with my short hair and she didn't believe it was me.

Life is generally pretty exciting here, but I'm not so good at explaining it these days. Visiting so many different places has really made photographing interesting things easy.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Too Burned To Function

My face hurts. A lot.
The past week has been too lovely for a little sunburn to ruin it, but I was feeling guilty that this here blog was not getting any love, so I give you this miserable face looking at you from the torture of my bedroom covered in sliced aloe limbs trying their hardest to sooth my burning skin.
My computer is still very much broken so all of the pictures that I have been saving to put on here are still sitting around taking up room on memory cards. I don't like it any more than you do, folks.